Sometimes when you feel close to many people (or maybe they just feel like they are close to you), you can be stuck with the tough decision with deciding who to include and not include in your wedding. Here is some advice to consider if you are in the position of choosing your bridesmaids.
Be honest. There is no sugar-coating the truth when it comes telling someone close to you that she will not be one of your bridesmaids. She may have been expecting you to ask her to be part of your wedding, only to find out that she may only be a guest. The best thing to do is to tell her the truth and let her know that at this point in your life it needs to be the people who are closest to you, not only for that moment but for years to come. Let her know that it was a difficult decision, but there were factors involved in which she could not be one of the picks (family, in-laws, etc) that needed to take the spot. If she is a true friend, she will understand and not let this decision ruin the relationship between the two of you.
Photo Credit: Cupcake Photography
Think before you ask. You should ask someone to be your bridesmaid after careful consideration. Once you ask someone, it is really hard to take it back and may put a strain on your relationship. Think about your relationship with the person 5-10 years down the road and ask yourself: will they be as significant to me then as they are now?
Size matters. Although there are no set rules to how many bridesmaids or groomsmen to have, it is very awkward to have a ton of wedding attendants beside you, and hardly any guests. If you have a small wedding with around 50 guests, you should have only four attendants max on each side. On the other hand, if you have around 200 guests, having 6-8 on each side would work fine.
Photo Credit: Sweet Julep Photography
Choose people that will support you. Remember that your bridesmaids are not just standing there next to you on your big day to look pretty. They play a huge role throughout the entire wedding planning process. Choose people that you know will support you emotionally and help you with pre-wedding tasks. Also, you are stressed enough as it is, choose people that you know will not cause drama.
Being a bridesmaid is not quid pro quo. Just because you were the maid of honor or bridesmaid in someone’s wedding does not mean she needs to be in yours. In many cases, the relationship you had during that person’s wedding may have changed because your wedding and hers happened many years apart. Do not force yourself to choose a bridesmaid you are no longer close to because you feel like you owe it to her. If this situation happens, just let her know how you feel.